On the Real…..

Sep 27, 2012

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Caycee Hewitt

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Seriously I have to tell you guys this story, one because it’s life with kids and two I want to look back an laugh.
I am hosting playgroup today, and when this happens I at least try to get the dog-hair up. So I whip out my very expensive vacuum cleaner and go to town.
Half way through the bastard just cuts off, no warning nothing, just dead.
So I call Dyson. A little more than pissed off considering I’ve only had the thing 4 months.
Finally get someone on the phone, and my Lord you basically have to give them a background check just for them to troubleshoot the thing.
While on the phone I can hear Carson knocking on his door.(he is in his room having “rest time” by the way). This is not that unusual, so I just ignore him and keep giving the Dyson girl all my info.
A few minutes later he is still knocking, so still on the phone I open the door. Lord a mercy the smell, it almost knocked me over.
Picture this…. Carson with pants down to his knees shit everywhere, and I do mean everywhere. This is still not the best part he is  holding his sisters hair brush covered in shit as well.
I calmly ask the Dyson lady to hold on.
Carson immediately tells me with a very discouraged look. “Mom there was no toilet paper and you wouldn’t come help me, and all I could find to wipe my butt with was Tay Tays brush”.
All I could do was laugh, still on the phone may I add.
I nicely explained to the Dyson lady what was going on, and told her it may be a few minutes before I could fine the exact date I purchased my nice  piece of crap vacuum.
Yep, Life with kids. 
PS They could not fix it over the phone, so I should get a new one in seven days. Hope my company does not mind a little stank smell and dog hair.

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  1. Julia Ryan says:

    THIS.IS.AMAZING. Totally something that will happen at our house, no doubt. Life with kids is never dull, that's for sure!

  2. Oh my! Seriously laughed out loud as I read this. Thanks! Oo, goodness, yep, that's a story you'll have to tell himwhen he gets older. Lawdy!

  3. Anonymous says:

    Hysterical. This post made both my husband and me crack up! We have SO been there! Good for you for laughing :).

  4. so hilarious..one time my girlfriend was showering when said Toddler boy was "resting"..she got out of the shower and he was COVERED in PANTY SHIELDS and said"look Mommy Band Aids!! HAHA!

  5. Bah! Hysterical. BTW – I have officially sworn off Dyson. Ours did the same thing except that it died after 2 yrs and Dyson wouldn't fix it. For too much money, I expect my vacuum to have a little longer shelf life than 2 yrs. And that little disclaimer about not clogging – wrong. The vacuum repair shop laughed when I brought it in and said, 'pretty much worst vacuum ever, especially the Animal, if you are trying to sweep up dog hair.' ??! I am using my MIL's 25 yr old Hoover and it does circles around that plastic crap. Great story, made me laugh.

  6. Nicole-Lynn says:

    OMG too funny! I LOL'd at work!

  7. I just laughed reading this again. Bahaha! But rest assured his room did not stink!

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